This post is a personal account of annual interactions with two external contacts whose leadership style includes micromanagement, indirect communication, deflecting responsibility and occasional gaslighting tendencies. The narrative highlights the impact on their teams, the challenges in professional interactions and the author’s conscious approach to maintain composure, professionalism and positive behavior. While the themes are common in workplace discussions, the details, reflections and anecdotes are unique to the author’s experience.
Disclaimer This is a subjective reflection and does not represent an official assessment or factual evaluation of the individuals mentioned. The content draws on general concepts of workplace dynamics (e.g., micromanagement, communication challenges) but should be understood as personal perspective, not professional judgment or verified reporting.
💭 When “Do What the Bosses Say” Meets Micro-Management…
Yesterday, I had a couple of appointments with two ladies I deal with on an annual basis. Both are seasoned professionals - one in her 60s, the other late 40s to early 50s. On paper, nothing seems unusual. In practice… 😅 their teams have a rough ride.
Who & Where
- Two external contacts I interact with yearly.
- Both are Chinese females, experienced in their respective roles.
- Their colleagues, who work under them, often experience stress, demotivation, and a constant need to walk on eggshells 🥚😬.
The “How & What”
- Micro-managing: Every detail, big or small, is under scrutiny - like being watched by a hawk… while blindfolded 🦅😵.
- Deflection: “I do what the bosses tell me.” Accountability? Not on the menu.
- Indirect communication: Avoids confrontation, answers vaguely or communicates only through others.
- Gaslighting tendencies: Facts and prior agreements sometimes get twisted, leaving colleagues second-guessing themselves.
- Negative energy: Subtle hostility and criticism hang in the air like a storm cloud ☁️⚡.
Funny (or scary?) anecdote: Ask a simple question… and get a 10-minute lecture on “what the boss said” that leaves you more confused than before 😬. Could honestly be a motivational quote: “Life’s motto: blame the boss, manage everything else!”
Why
- Likely a mix of personality, learned habits and comfort in avoiding direct responsibility.
- Indirect control helps them maintain authority while sidestepping accountability.
Impact
- Teams under them are stressed, cautious and demotivated - so much so that many can’t wait for them to retire or move on ⏳💤.
- External contacts like me must stay patient, professional and mentally prepared.
- Observing all this, I genuinely feel for anyone who works directly with them day in and day out 💛.
Lessons & Survival Tips
For anyone navigating this dynamic:
✅ Focus on facts & deliverables, not personalities.
✅ Keep everything documented - emails, notes, confirmations.
✅ Respond calmly and neutrally; don’t feed negativity.
✅ Set boundaries and maintain professional distance.
✅ Break tasks into small, clear updates rather than broad reports.
✅ Support colleagues indirectly by modeling respectful, positive behavior.
✅ Celebrate small wins quietly - your morale matters 🌱.
📝 Optional “Annual Survival Kit”: patience ☕, notes 📝, calm composure 😌, small wins 🏆, repeat yearly 🔁
From my perspective, as someone of similar background and age, I make a conscious effort not to emulate their style. Watching them is a masterclass in what not to do - reminds me why respect, clarity and kindness always win 🌟.
💡 Conclusion:
Some people lead by fear, control or deflection. Others lead by example, clarity and respect. Being aware, protecting your energy and choosing your own path is the key.
Annual encounters survived, sanity mostly intact - here’s to another year! 🏆🍵
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