Season's Greetings 2010

A year ago today, a tiny black & white fur ball arrived on my street in Perth and my life and his name is Christmas Boy (CB) Cimmino... little did both me and his mum know that he would turn out to be a handful... but he is very much loved nonetheless... he has many eccentricities and is a swine to both me n his mum but an absolute gentle cat when we have company... everyone who ever met him get smitten by him... 'no fear' and 'daredevil' is his middle name and he is well acquainted with his vet in just a short year since he has a very sensitive tummy... but that does not stop him from being a pig... he wants to eat everything that we eat... on his first Christmas, he ate the Christmas ham and turkey and his nose, he could smell any food u had handled even if you have washed your hands after... always joked he should be a customs cat smelling out contraband food at the airport like the beagles they have there... =p


This past year has been one that I wish never happened, too much sadness and unfortunate accidents had befallen myself, my family and my friends... my wish for the coming year is just for everyone to have a happy, healthy and safe year... hope that's not too much to ask if the big guy in red is around... :p


What did I do for Christmas in Brunei? hmm... cooked brunch for the parents... nothing fancy, just roasted chicken and cranberries Omelette as well as mackerel omelette... so far no complaints... for dinner, it was rib eye steak with pan fried spuds, carrots and mushrooms... in between cooking, I was doing spring cleaning... yes, still cleaning and yes, mum still show tendency of wanting to keep things that are either faulty or have not been used for ages (like with a thick layer of dust on it)... but, so far, she did not argue with me when I said 'no'... thats an improvement I think... but sometimes, I still need to operate in 'stealth' mode to get rid of some stuff... thank goodness dad does not question and just do the throwing when the bin is full... :)


I have no resolution for the new year but I have a to do list... I really hope I will be able to achieve them before the next silly season arrive... Learn to drive, refurbish the house, get employed, meet up with old friends, be a better friend than I have been this year, cats - Birman and Munckin, spend quality time with the important people in my life (if they will make time for me...), do a business plan... the list will continue to grow as I start on the mind map later... yes, I think its time to get on with this 'paused' thing known as my life... 


Although it was not mentioned at home, I am sure both the folks and myself wished Stan is around... his friends too... somehow, the void he left behind is far reaching than I ever thought it could be... Bro, you are dearly missed... 

© Magdalena Torres

Waiting Outside The Lines - Greyson Chance

Waiting Outside the Lines

You’ll never enjoy your life,

living inside the box

You’re so afraid of taking chances,

how you gonna reach the top?

Rules and regulations,

force you to play it safe

Get rid of all the hesitation,

it’s time for you to seize the day

Instead of just sitting around

and looking down on tomorrow

You gotta let your feet off the ground,

the time is now

I’m waiting, waiting, just waiting,

I’m waiting, waiting outside the lines

Waiting outside the lines

Waiting outside the lines

Try to have no regrets

even if it’s just tonight

How you gonna walk ahead

if you keep living blind?

Stuck in my same position,

you deserve so much more

There’s a whole world around us,

just waiting to be explored

Instead of just sitting around

and looking down on tomorrow

You gotta let your feet off the ground,

the time is now, just let it go

The world will force you to smile

I’m here to help you notice the rainbow

Cause I know,

What’s in you is out there

I’m waiting, waiting, just waiting,

I’m waiting, waiting outside the lines

Waiting outside the lines

Waiting outside the lines

I’m trying to be patient (I’m trying to be patient)

the first step is the hardest (the hardest)

I know you can make it,

go ahead and take it

I’m Waiting, waiting, just waiting I’m waiting

I’m waiting, waiting, just waiting

I’m waiting, waiting outside the lines

Waiting outside the lines

Waiting outside the lines

You’ll never enjoy your life

Living inside the box

You’re so afraid of taking chances,

How you gonna reach the top?

Happy Baby Dyanna

© Sunflower child by darkmello

Just received a new pic of baby D today from her mommy and she's wearing the pink peony dress I got her for when she will be two... I just love her smile! whenever I see her smile, I can't help but smile back too... my kind of baby... Her mommy also told me that the mousie that baby is holding is actually chosen by baby herself... cool, a baby who has good taste... ^_^

'I Love You' ATHENA - Goddess of War OST - TaeYeon (Girls Generation/SNSD)

I Love You

Is it passing away?

Is our love

A heartbreaking memory?

You are turning back

Is even tear not enough

To hold you back?

My Love~ I love you, I love you

Are you listening?

My Love~ Please don’t forget

Please don’t erase

Our love

Are my tears

Visible to you?

I long for you the whole day

Even the kiss

That made my heart beat faster

Seems to be memory now

My Love~ I love you, I love you

Are you listening?

My Love~ Please don’t forget

Please don’t erase

Our love

Everyday I love in longing

I live by longing

But where are you?

I’m so sorry

I’m sorry because I can’t forget you

My Love~ Please come back

Don’t leave

My side please

Sunflower... Happy Baby... ^_^

© Polymer clay sunflower ring by merylu

Lately, I seem to have been coming up with flora names for babies I have met... thank goodness that there were not many of them too... :p

Among some of them were turnip (you don't want to know why), sweet pea (my bestie's niece) and sunflower (my friend Rozi's 6 month old baby girl)...

Rozi's baby's name is Dyanna, named after Wonder Woman a.k.a. Diana... her dad is a massive fan of Marvel and DC Comics like my late brother as well as some of our other common friends...

Anyway, I saw a pic of her sleeping not long after she was born and she was smiling and sunflower came to mind coz she's such a happy baby...

I went shopping before I came back to Perth and I picked up some outfits for baby D and one of them was a Wonder Woman playsuit at Target which was on special... :)

Hence, the pic of baby D dressed as Wonder Baby in the following pic... her mum took this pic when she was 4 months old... according to Rozi, baby D no longer fit this playsuit n its a size 0... :)

Last Sunday, I bumped into Baby D and her parents at Times Square and she was wearing the Super Girl outfit I got her for 1 year olds... she is definitely growing quick... baby D was smiling the whole time I was talking to her parents and she was holding onto my finger... other babies I know would wail and cry when they meet me... so baby D broke the mould... =)

At 6 months, she is able to sit unassisted, my mum said she will most probably be walking pretty soon... that definitely put her in the super and wonder baby categories... I am so looking forward to baby Dyanna's growth and development... following pic is when she was 2 days shy of 6 months in her playroom...

Finally - Brave Brothers (ft. U-Kiss)

This song features U-Kiss's Alexander and Kevin... the video is interesting... n disturbing... but somehow, I like the song... 

Title of song is quite appropriate as the Perth chapter of my life is about to come to an end... sad in a way but somehow... I lack the ability to be emotional... disturbing indeed...

Living In The Heart MV (English Sub) - Untouchable feat. Narsha

Untouchable is an under-rated duo in Kpop... love their music and in this video, they featured Narsha from Brown Eyed Girls... 

Sunflower (Happy birthday) ~ Shinhwa

Can't wait till the boys are back from their national service duties... ^^

Never Say Never ft. Jaden Smith - Justin Bieber

Theme from Karate Kid (2010)

The Karate Kid (2010) Alternate Ending: Mr. Han vs. Master Li

Finally watched the movie last night when I could not go to sleep... I prefer the original Karate Kid though this movie has its own merits... perhaps it should have been known by a different title as Karate is not part of Wushu or as they call it Kung Fu... found this alternate ending on youtube while I was browsing for some videos to watch today... maybe this shd have been the ending... what I like about this movie is the scenery... everything about China is old... well, its the oldest country in the world... ^^

Jaden Smith is a very talented actor... for a child his age... his portrayal of pain and frustrations comes across very real... I actually wanted to box those bullies' ears myself... This film was a Smith family project and its worth a watch... Jackie Chan's Mr. Han is different from Mr.Miyagi and its a good thing... bottom line is... the story teaches tolerance, patience, open mindedness... everything good...

What Do You Got? - Bon Jovi

What Do You Got?

Everybody wants something, just a little more

We’re makin a living, and what we’re livin for

A rich man or a poor man, a pawn or a king

You can live on the street, you can rule the whole world

But you don’t mean one damn thing

[Chorus:]

What do you got, if you ain’t got love

Whatever you got, it just ain’t enough

You’re walkin’ the road, but you’re goin’ nowhere

You’re tryin’ to find your way home, but there’s no one there

Who do you hold, in the dark of night

You wanna give up, but it’s worth the fight

You have all the things, that you’ve been dreamin’ of

If you ain’t got someone, you’re afraid to lose

Everybody needs just one, someone… to tell them the truth

Maybe I’m a dreamer, but I still believe

I believe in hope, I believe the change can get us off our knees

[Chorus]

If you ain’t got love, it’s all just keeping score

If you ain’t got love, what the hell we doing it for

I don’t wanna have to talk about it

How many songs you gotta sing about it

How long you gonna live without it

Why does someone somewhere have to doubt it

Someday you’ll figure it out

[Solo]

[Chorus x2]

If you ain’t got love, it’s all just keeping score

If you ain’t got love, what the hell we doin’ it for

Woah, I ain’t got, if you ain’t got

What do you got if you ain’t got love

What do you got if you ain’t got love

Bon Jovi - MTV EMA 2010

Classic Bon Jovi... They won MTV EMA's 1st ever Global Icon Award this year..."Its My Life" was my bro's theme song... 

1. What Do You Got?

2. (You Give Love a) Bad Name

3. Its My Life 

Red Poppy (Remembrance/Memorial) Day 2010

If I am asked about the milestones in my life, I think it would be broken into 5 phases... Education, Career, Migration, Health Issues & Family... and if I am asked which is the most important to me, it will always be Family & Health... it took me a full circle to come back to this... 


This year has been the worst period of my life... I lost my brother and also a good friend... I made the difficult decision to move back to the land of my birth... coz this is where my family and loved ones are... but I will always miss my little brother... I can't bear to be away from where he is... coz' I don't want him to think he is forgotten... he will never be...


2 years ago today, I had my last bday lunch with my brother at Rizqun... I never thought that it would be the last birthday I shared with him... I miss him terribly and today, its especially more... regrets that we never put much emphasis on birthdays and festivals... 


Although am not supposed to mourn coz I am older but it does not feel right to be celebrating or doing anything festive... it will be a while I suppose before it will feel right... just wish I had done more when he was around... P. Ramlee's "Di mana Ku Cari Ganti" says it all...

© the-judge-rukya

Di Mana Kan Ku Cari Ganti...

P. Ramlee's best known musical creation for his movie "Ibu Mertua Ku" or  my mother-in-law... it says so much about the ones we love the most... I miss my backup, my wingman... I can truly say now that I know how it really feels to be alone... the day my brother left this earth, was the day, I realise what being alone in this world really means...

© F_AYN_T

If I Die Young - Sam Tsui (The Band Perry cover)

Sam Tsui covered this song so well that it was added to my iTunes playlist immediately… its so poignant to me coz I can imagine my late brother saying those words…

"… send me away with the words of a love song... make me a rainbow I'll shine down on my mother... she'll know I'm safe with you and she stands under my colors... oh and life ain't always what you think it ought to be... no ain't even gray but she buries her baby... the sharp knife of a short life... well I've had just enough time…"

We miss him very much… there are times when I still can’t believe he’s not here with me physically anymore…  the parents are slowly coming to terms with his absence too but its still painful to talk about him in the past tense…

In my mind’s eye, I can still see him so clearly on the day of his funeral… it feels so surreal… like it’s a movie I am watching… I felt so detached that I wonder if its normal to feel the way I do… I feel guilty some days thinking maybe I could have done or said something that could have resulted in a different scenario from now… I asked myself if I had done enough to protect my baby brother… there are so many questions which I have no answer to… at times, I don’t know how to comfort my mum when she asks the same questions I asked myself…

If I Die Young

if i die young bury me in satin

lay me down on a bed of roses

sink me in the river at dawn

send me away with the words of a love song

ooh ooh ooh ooh

lord make me a rainbow I'll shine down on my mother

she'll know I'm safe with you and she stands under my colors

oh and life ain't always what you think it ought to be

no ain't even gray but she buries her baby

the sharp knife of a short life

well I've had just enough time

if i die young bury me in satin

lay me down on a bed of roses

sink me in the river at dawn

send me away with the words of a love song

the sharp knife of a short life

well, i have just enough time

and I'll be wearing white

when i come into your kingdom

I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger

I've never known the lovin' of man

but it sure felt nice when he was holdin' my hand

there's a boy here in town

who says he'll love me forever

who would have thought forever could be severed

by the sharp knife of a short life

well I've had just enough time

so put on your best boys, and I'll wear my pearls

what i never did is done

a penny for my thoughts oh no I'll sell 'em for a dollar

they're worth so much more after I'm a goner

and maybe then you'll hear the words that I've been singin'

its funny when your dead how people start listenin'

if i die young bury me in satin

lay me down on a bed of roses

sink me in the river at dawn

send me away with the words of a love song

ooh ooh the ballad of a dove

go with peace and love

gather up your tears and keep them in your pocket

save em for a time when your really gonna need em.

oh the sharp knife of a short life

well I've had just enough time
so put on your best boys, and I'll wear my pearls

My Abode of Peace...

Have been back in the land of my birth for more than a month now… so far, the weather is my biggest gripe coz its too hot and humid… n quite a number of my friends are not well from it with coughing, sore throats… I am trying to make sure I don’t get the same… though my main complains so far are headaches and soreness of the back n hip… posture and no proper chairs at home contributed to these…

I miss my bed in Perth… I miss my kitchen stuff too… besides that I miss the fresh n large choice of mushrooms, tomatoes, cheeses, bread… I also miss Aussie Coke, Smiths Original Crinkle Cut Chips, Doritos Supreme Cheese, Domino’s Pizza, Hungry Jack’s Whopper, McDonald’s Angus burger… I miss my wheatbags for my sore muscles… funny enough, I also miss the domestic cleaner coz there’s no such thing here except for floor cleaners and bleach… no disinfectant too besides Dettol…

I have been to the movies more often here compared to while I was in Perth… the ticket price difference is the major reason why I hardly go to the cinema… Have been catching up on movies too since I have been home…

In Perth, I frequent clothing stores… in Brunei, I frequent textile stores… in Perth, I have chips for snacks… in Brunei, my snacks are biscuits… coke n fruit juice in Perth, flavoured tea in Brunei… what a transition…

Note to self, buy ribbons when in Perth by the roll coz ribbons are too expensive in Brunei sold by the metre… 

Watched too much AFC on Astro and its frustrating me coz am not able to cook like the way I do in Perth… oh yes, I miss my stove and oven in Perth… the microwave too…

I baby talk with CB in Perth but I have to negotiate with Whiskie here in Brunei… missed CB’s 1^st birthday on 10 October… Whiskie is 17 yrs old going 18… both are black and white, CB being a ruffian in the guise of a Persian while Whiskie is a grouchy DSH… I miss my daily play time with CB and also my afternoon tea session with his mum, June…

I suppose I will have less time to miss things when I start working… hopefully soon… need to clean up n organize the house before then… give me strength and patience…

Garage Sale...

Never had a garage sale before but I had 2 over 2 weekends end Sept, early Oct… main purpose is to clear the house of excess stuff that the family accumulated over 15 years or more… can’t believe the amount of stuff that came out of the shed… had to pack some of them too coz they were quality stuff… things I have a use for when the house is ready for entertaining…

Friends told me my garage sale is different from others they have been to… they said mine was organised like a shop with shelves n properly arranged… guess that’s the scorpio in me talking… either that or I have developed an OCD for cleaning and organising… hope it’s the former… :p

It would be such a shame if the stuff are not found homes coz most of them r still in good nick… hope the Salvos and St Vinnies will want them if no one else wants them… There’s furniture to go too…

28 August 2010

29 August 2010

4 September 2010

A Little Update...

Its been weeks since I last blogged... much had happened over that time... packed up the house in Perth, had garage sales and came home to Brunei... been back for 2 weeks... still trying to accustom myself to the humidity n heat we have here... how I had taken the Mediterranean climate we had in Perth for granted... not too hot n humid... though the winds can be quite strong n cold in winter... wish I could bring the Perth weather back with me...

There's so much to update but am at a loss as to where to start... homecoming was okay... the first person I want to see met me at the airport and that made my day... :) 

However, its a bittersweet homecoming coz I still miss my bro and Adi... been making changes at home albeit not at a pace that I wish... not easy when you have elderly parents who are so set in their ways and don't like change...

What do I miss about Perth? Cheese, CB, June's cooking, the shopping centres and the bargains from sales, Coke, fresh sea air, the beach, clear blue skies, my stove, AFL, small goods, fresh bread... these are just random items... :p

1st week back, there was no internet at home... so I had withdrawal pangs... finally organised prepaid broadband but have to watch my time online... need to organise postpaid plans coz it cost too much on prepaid... especially my surfing habits... 

Visited bro and caught up with some friends... went moonie crazy again when I realised it was the Mid-Autumn Festival... did not go raya visiting this year... hopefully will do so next raya... thats about it for the 2 weeks that I have been home...

I will blog on a few things in the coming weeks... please bear with me... :)

Wish There's 2 of Me

I am currently sitting in my garage coz am having a sale today and tomorrow between 10am and 4pm... trouble is, its been quiet for the last 2 hours and I feel I can get other things done besides sitting here...


Still got lots to do and I am fast running out of time... forgot to call to make an appointment with my physio too... the day started earlier than I thought... people started coming at 9:30am... some look for household stuff, some looking for furniture... one thing I noticed, they all say they have a small place and can't fit much furniture... interesting...


Thinking what should I do with the unsold stuff... bin them, donate them, give them away... I have done all three these past months... still got so much left... the books and the vinyl records... need to get out the spare kitchen stuff from the shed later for tomorrow... did I mention the VHS tapes and player too?


I still got some final packing to do and then cleaning up the house best I can... I was vacuuming and moving boxes at 9pm last night... talk about weird... need to update the packing lists as well... gosh... why can't I work faster?


Need to catch up with my friends before I leave... 1 week is really not much time leh... still got arrangements to make with the real estate agent, need to check up on a few things with AEC... the bank, utilities... please give me strength...


Although I have a loaded plate here, that does not mean I am not thinking about what's happening at home... will be there soon... just wish there's 2 of me so that I can finish all these tasks quick smart...

© Shiki Tekken

Adi Yusri Hj Md Deli - Thanks for Your Friendship

When I took this photo yesterday afternoon, it was because I thought the lantern was lonely... when I was editing it last night, I notice the rays of the sun... and thought to myself how special this turned out... coz it reminded me of hope... its warm rays touching everything...


That's how I remember Adi... a warm hearted person who is a caring and easy-going friend... never once have I ever heard a harsh word from him... I remember the comforting and encouraging words he said to me in my time of stress and sadness... never did I think I would be remembering those words again so soon...


I first met Adi while hanging out at Coffeebean 2 years ago when I was home for vacation... I knew Adi through Rose who is also friends with Rul and my bro... little did I know then that he was my junior in SOAS and that he knew some of my other friends...


We both own a Macbook and I remember the first question he asked me when we were introduced... 'how do you keep your Mac so clean?''... We continued our friendship through FB after I came back to Perth...


Through Adi, I got to know his other hang-out buddies and thanks to him, they have become my support system in my time of need earlier this year... thank you D for unselfishly sharing your pals with me...


We share a few things in common... Mac for one... he loved his cats and talk about them all the time... he loves taking photos of his cats... he loved chocolates and last Easter, I sent a few bags of Easter chocs to him... he enjoy good food... Coffeebean's Vanilla Latte was his favourite... he liked Big Bang and Super Junior... he was a scrapper, I was impressed coz I am not creative at all... he had a wicked sense of humour... he used to order teh tarik from Dynasty and had it delivered to him in Coffeebean... Bentley was my god-kitten...


When I received news of his passing this morning, I was on the train into the city to collect my new specs... during the whole journey, the images that kept playing in my mind's eye was the times we spent hanging out, his surprise bday party at his home, the bday dinner he treated us to... those were happy times, I am glad I have those memories...


He was already not well back then, he had wanted to attend my bro's memorial but was not able to coz he was hospitalised... I did not know his condition would deteriorate so quickly... When he started his treatment, we did not expect it would take such a toll on him... I was looking forward to visiting with him when I go home in a few weeks' time...


The last week was a test on all those who love him... and for a short while, we thought he was pulling through and on the mend... but fate has a funny way of reminding us of our mortality... I lost a dear friend this morning... may he rest in peace...


D, I miss you my friend... till we meet again... stay forever young...


My heartfelt and deepest condolences to his family in their time of bereavement.


*This post was written on 24 August 2010*

They Shall Not Grow Old...

The song that was playing on my iPod when I received the news of Adi's passing was Angel by Sarah McLachlan and I thought how appropriate it was... a few hours later when I entered my favourite shop Dusk to look for something to honour Adi's memory, the same song was playing on the shop's PA system... someone must know how sad I am feeling today... In memory of a dear friend... Angel performed by Sarah McLachlan and Josh Groban.

I would like to borrow some words from our ANZAC Day celebrated every April 25...

They shall not grow old,

as we that are left grow old:

Age shall not weary them,

nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun,

and in the morning

We will remember them.

Lest We Forget